"Don't
marry anyone who you find it difficult confiding in or you will have problems in that marriage’’……Eze Victor Obinna
So many of
you have heard this phrase "MARRY
YOUR FRIEND" despite the fact that it looks straight forward most
people still find it hard to understand its true meaning.
Firstly, who
is a friend?
1. A friend
is a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person
whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person
whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, and can confide
in, knowing that their secrets is save, typically exclusive of sexual or
family relations.
A friend is never defined as someone who buys you
gift and takes you out on a date, it is never someone who yells and beat you up
or who refuses to call you all day, it is never someone you introduce to
your parents as your man/woman, it’s not someone who you just met and fell in
love with. A friend many say is that person who sticks closer than a brother.
This days
people claim they are dating their friend but such people find it hard to
discuss issues bothering them with this same person they claim to be their
friend, you will find some people very comfortable discussing their problems
with a third party rather than their partner whom they claim to be their friend
and who is suppose to be their friend/confidant.. Isn't that
contradictory?
Discussing
critical issues and sharing their pains and fears with their partner is a no go
area, discussing
the flaws of their partner and relationship just as real friends do is always
impossible, as they
are shy doing so or they fear their partner will scold them and in
turn they will lose them.
If you are
dating someone you can't confide in, someone you can't share your inner
thoughts with, if you find yourself discussing certain issues you wish to
discuss with your partner with someone else other than them then you are simply
not dating your friend.
Most of us
are currently in this situation but keep deceiving ourselves, saying we love
them, fine you can love them but dating
someone who isn't your friend is disastrous.
If you marry
someone who you claim to be your friend but can't discuss certain issues you
should ordinarily discuss with them then that marriage is bound to fail, which is why today marriages barely
last because couples can't even confide in their partner on minor issues
bothering them.
We all know that marriage comes with lots of challenges which
will require lots of communication to resolve but how can you resolve issues
when you can't even confide in your partner. Be careful who you choose for
marriage, make sure
they are your friend and your friend isn't someone that increases your
heartbeat when you think of them, a friend isn't that person you go out
on a date with or can't go a day without thinking of them, A FRIEND IS
SOMEONE YOU CAN CONFIDE IN.
The moment
you find yourself more comfortable discussing mere issues with a third party
other than your partner it’s time to re-evaluate that relationship. Don't marry
anyone who you find it difficult confiding in you will have problems in that
marriage.
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