Wednesday, 28 August 2013
MARRY YOUR FRIEND
"Don't marry anyone who you find it difficult confiding in or you will have problems in that marriage’’……Eze Victor Obinna
So many of you have heard this phrase "MARRY YOUR FRIEND" despite the fact that it looks straight forward most people still find it hard to understand its true meaning.
Firstly, who is a friend?
1. A friend is a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, and can confide in, knowing that their secrets is save, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
A friend is never defined as someone who buys you gift and takes you out on a date, it is never someone who yells and beat you up or who refuses to call you all day, it is never someone you introduce to your parents as your man/woman, it’s not someone who you just met and fell in love with. A friend many say is that person who sticks closer than a brother.
This days people claim they are dating their friend but such people find it hard to discuss issues bothering them with this same person they claim to be their friend, you will find some people very comfortable discussing their problems with a third party rather than their partner whom they claim to be their friend and who is suppose to be their friend/confidant.. Isn't that contradictory?
Discussing critical issues and sharing their pains and fears with their partner is a no go area, discussing the flaws of their partner and relationship just as real friends do is always impossible, as they are shy doing so or they fear their partner will scold them and in turn they will lose them.
If you are dating someone you can't confide in, someone you can't share your inner thoughts with, if you find yourself discussing certain issues you wish to discuss with your partner with someone else other than them then you are simply not dating your friend.
Most of us are currently in this situation but keep deceiving ourselves, saying we love them, fine you can love them but dating someone who isn't your friend is disastrous.
If you marry someone who you claim to be your friend but can't discuss certain issues you should ordinarily discuss with them then that marriage is bound to fail, which is why today marriages barely last because couples can't even confide in their partner on minor issues bothering them.
We all know that marriage comes with lots of challenges which will require lots of communication to resolve but how can you resolve issues when you can't even confide in your partner. Be careful who you choose for marriage, make sure they are your friend and your friend isn't someone that increases your heartbeat when you think of them, a friend isn't that person you go out on a date with or can't go a day without thinking of them, A FRIEND IS SOMEONE YOU CAN CONFIDE IN.
The moment you find yourself more comfortable discussing mere issues with a third party other than your partner it’s time to re-evaluate that relationship. Don't marry anyone who you find it difficult confiding in you will have problems in that marriage.