Saturday, 24 August 2013

Baby found dead inside gutter in Anambra state

A baby was found dead this morning inside a gutter along Upper New Market road axis of Onitsha in Anambra State. A LIBer who lives in the state took the photo and sent it in. The baby was well dressed and dumped there. Incredibly sad. See the photo after the cut and say a little prayer for him...

Actress Stella Damasus advices women on how to keep their men

Actress Stella Damasus took to her Adiva blog yesterday to advice women on how to keep their men. Read it below

"...let me go to the topic I want to discuss today "keeping your man" This is for the married women o please this is not targeted at single girls. Now we know that the one thing men cannot live without apart from money is SEX. In this forum I really don't care where anyone is from or what religion you belong to, I will be as raw and honest as possible.
I do not understand why women especially Africans do not talk about sex when we know that it is the one thing we do regularly with so much pleasure.
Read the full article after the cut...

Keeping Your Man - By Stella Damasus

Hello ladies,

Been a while since you read from me and I am sorry about that. However I never said I would be the only one writing for this blog. I threw it open to members to send in their articles, concerns, challenges, questions and other things to the Adiva email address and we will publish it.

Not only that, we will get the experts/professionals to help answer some of your questions, I am still waiting to hear from you all.

Anyway I have good news and that is the fact that you will be able to watch me talk more/elaborate on things I will write in the blog. Yes o my YouTube channel will be very very active soon with my new project called Stella's diaries.

You all need to look out for it because it will be very exciting as usual. I will say it the way I see it and I am sure by now most of you know I am not ashamed or afraid to speak my mind.

Anyway let me go to the topic I want to discuss today "keeping your man".This is for the married women o please this is not targeted at single girls.

Now we know that the one thing men cannot live without apart from money is SEX. In this forum I really don't care where anyone is from or what religion you belong to, I will be as raw and honest as possible.

I do not understand why women especially Africans do not talk about sex when we know that it is the one thing we do regularly with so much pleasure.

Anyway our men love sex to the max and we know that for a fact. So how come when we are dating them we are so willing to give them what they want even though we know it is wrong. The first few years of marriage is filled with sex almost five times a day in different parts of the house and at odd hours, but after the few years we start to back down, we start to make excuses, we start to see it as a chore and then we let them know that we are really not interested in them physically.

Wow, what happened to the lady fox, the hot chic, the sexy cat that he got married to?
What happened to the babe that would understand the signal he would give and immediately comply?
What happened those times when he would race home to his sexy energetic ever ready wife who would make him feel wanted?
I know that most of you will say "I have kids who wear me out, I have work that drains me, I got older, my sex drive has gone under, I have a headache" to the point that the man will need to get a visa at your "embassy" to visit his favorite place in the World.

When you do this to him, how do you expect him to come home everyday to look at your tired, grumpy and unfriendly face?

How would you expect him to come home to you complaining about the plumber, your child that was being rude, and your boss that gave you a hard time?
NOOOOOOO please.

At that point he wants you to take him to that special place were the sky is so wonderful and turn his brain around to the point that all you say will sound like sweet music to his ears.
These men are human beings who go through their own challenges, half of which you don't even know because they are trying to save you from all the stress.

What annoys me the most is when we women start to complain and nag about the men not having time for us, and how they no longer find us attractive anymore and that's where the suspicion starts. That's when the saying comes, "if he is not getting it from me someone else must be giving it to him’.

I don't encourage cheating at all in fact it goes against what the bible teaches no matter what. I will not also judge anyone who has been caught in a web he is not proud of for one reason or the other. I believe that if we are truly sorry for our sins and we go to God with the determination not to sin again, he is merciful and will forgive us.

In all of this I know that all men are not beasts, neither are they evil because we married them. I also know that men do not get married and carry it at the back of their minds that they must cheat. That's not how it works please. There are things that we do that trigger things in their brains and these things drive them to do things that they really would not have done. Most of us believe it when they say men don’t think with their brains but they think with their penis. I beg to differ because they know what they are doing and I don’t see how the penis can have a brain that will control the whole body. There is always something that sparks off in the brain that sends the signal to the penis.
You may or may not agree with me but this is what I choose to believe. Most men we married are not so evil and dubious, some may be cowards but cast your mind back to the kind of man you chose to marry and see if there were traces of that character or not.

What men want:
- They want to feel like they are in control of things which is not bad because they are the head.
- They want to feel loved and like it or not they are our first babies who desire words of affirmation no matter how macho they seem.
- They want to feel WANTED all the time, it gives them the confidence that all men crave for.
- They want to know you are still sexually attracted to them.
- They don't want you to make it obvious that you are smatter even if you are.
- They like their space and alone time.
- They don't want to come home to a fat mama who is the opposite of the sexy curvy woman he fell in love with, because she let herself go after they got married. Why should she try and look the same? She is married now, who else does she have to impress? WRONG! Men are first of all moved by what they see before anything else. So when they can't see that anymore or at least an effort to getting back that body that turned them on, they'll probably lose interest in you and find it someone else.
- They don't want to come and hug you after work with you are smelling of onions and oil. At least take a shower before he gets there or if there is no time spray perfume.
- They want to come home to a nice smelling neat and tidy home.
- They want to walk into the bedroom with the bed all made up and clothes arranged. Maybe a small note on his pillow saying I love you and I am glad you are home, that definitely puts an automatic smile on his face even if for three seconds, it keeps him interested in you
- They want you to be a good listener not just a talker.
- They want to know that you believe in them and you are proud of them.
- They want to know that no matter what you will have their back and support them, then ask questions later.
- They just want to see that you are making an effort because no human should expect you to be perfect.
- They don't want another mother but they want you to take care of them the way you would your kids.
- They want a wife, girlfriend, sorry to say (personal call girl) which is not a bad thing because he is your husband who is free to express his sexual desires as long as they are not life threatening or demeaning.

There are so many things I can add and you will not stop reading so let me end this by saying: if you do not try to do at least 60 percent of this regularly, trust me a younger version of you will cross his path and that is exactly how the enemy works. When that younger and more energetic version of you catches his eye, your matter will quietly end. This girl will rock his world so bad that coming home to you will become a chore. These girls can give him all these things and even more that the men find it so difficult to resist. All the money that was supposed to go to you and your children will find their way to her pocket. They can get anything they want from your man because they know the secret to getting and keeping him.

I know that this article will cause a lot of controversial wahala but it is fine because in life people don't like to hear the truth. This might also be an opportunity for people to make silly comments but the truth is I am loving it all. I finally have the attention of people who will ordinarily not want to listen to me or watch me.

Ladies on a more serious note, if you are guilty of these crimes and are depriving your husband of what is rightfully his then don't be shocked when a younger version of you gets the best of him.
I will let you all know when the extended version of this topic will be on my YouTube channel. God will bless your homes and give you the wisdom you need to keep it together.

Think about this objectively, try out what you agree with and discard what you don't. Leave the messenger out of it for a change and see the bigger picture ahead.

Take care of yourselves and remember that I love you all.


  • What is worth doing is worth doing well. Don’t rush for the ring; think before the ring, it’s your destiny. Marriage is an institution you need not rush into for admission. It simply means two souls tying their destinies together, having same goals, rising generations together and having no secrets, it’s an institution without graduation. 

        Marriage has positively made many lives and ruined a number of souls, marriage was created for glory not for agony, for pleasure not for pressure, it was designed to be enjoyed but too many people are enduring it. Before you decide on a marriage partner, ask youself many questions; think; allow your conscience to rule your decision not love. Think before accepting that engagement ring, think before the wedding ring or you will live with your partner with an extra marriage ring called suffering.

      The most important thing to think of before marriage is if God is in support of the union. Remember that marriage is God’s institution, no matter your preparations, only God can bring blessings, it’s important you give him the first place in your decision(s) before saying ‘’YES I DO’’. You also need to prepare spiritually, physically, financially, materially, emotionally, psychologically and otherwise. Another important thing to think of is the need to count the cost, what are you bringing into the relationship? What price are you willing to pay to make the union work?

       Also note, to avoid had I known, due consideration must be given to the physical health of the party involved which can be ascertained after due medical tests has been undergone. This is not a sin or a sign of not trusting your partner but a sign of wisdom which God says is the principal thing. Being born again or attending the same church with your partner does not guarantee safety in this area; after all you may not have known your partner’s earlier lifestyle, even if you do. Medically, the following are basic pre-marital screening that must be ascertained before marriage.

      FOR MALES; Seminal and culture screening, syphilis (VDRL) screening, HIV screening, ABO blood group, HB genotype.
      FOR FEMALES; HVS culture sensitivity, HIV screening, syphilis screening, ABO blood group, HB genotype.
          AIDS IS REAL, BEWARE!!!

Friday, 23 August 2013


" He who enjoys good mental health is rich, though he knows it not"
                                       Eze Victor Obinna

"Failures and setbacks are good teachers and the initial impression of success"
                                        Eze Victor Obinna

"Money is not the answer or solution to all things but intelligence is…Eze Victor Obinna

"The problem with most people is not how to make money but how to spend money"
   …Eze Victor Obinna

“If working hard for money produced wealth, then it would produce wealth in every case….including truck pushers’’
                       Eze Victor Obinna

"Don't marry anyone who you find it difficult confiding in, or you will have problems in your marriage"......Eze Victor Obinna.

Thursday, 22 August 2013

Photos From AY’s Surprise Birthday Party

Police Arrest Policewoman Caught On Camera Extorting N100 From A Bus Driver

The Lagos State Police Command Public Relations Officer, Ngozi Braide, has confirmed the arrest of a policewoman caught in a video footage demanding a bribe of N100 from a commercial bus driver. To confirm the recent development, Ngozi Braide said “We have arrested her and she is presently in custody. She will be made to undergo an orderly room trial and the outcome will be made public’’.

I think it’s high time we get some sanity in the police force… All the bad eggs must be flushed out of the force… Let’s keep our fingers crossed on this one..

Wednesday, 21 August 2013

Kanayo O. Kanayo Appointed Board Chairman Of NIHTS

Kanayo O. Kanayo has no doubt paid his dues in the movie industry and i guess it’s time for bim to reap the fruits of his labour… The dark skinned Nollywood star actor has been appointed board chairman of The National Institute for Hospitality & Tourism Studies. He took to his Twitter handle to share the good news.. Congrats to him



‘’ The heart that loves is always young’’……Anonymous.
Love is like a muster seed, planted by GOD and watered by man. Most a times, we love; expecting to be loved but the people the love was directed to seem to be uninterested or acted aloof. It pains sometimes, but here are some things to know and do. 

   It hurts when you have someone in your heart, but you can’t have them in your arms, it’s also a great thing of concern to most people when they show some care to the opposite sex, who either showed no interest or returned the gesture with heaps of embarrassment. It hurts most people; it makes some to lose their sense of self-worth and makes others to feel extremely bad. When taken to the extreme by some people, they draw a false conclusion about the opposite sex generally, and may indulge in isolation, building emotional block against the opposite sex.

If you are among the folks that have had such an experience or maybe you may not want to have such a blind alley experience, here are things to know and do.
      Do not feel bad at the negative response of the one you admire, there is definitely a reason they acted aloof, never you be discouraged. Always remember that we all have our ideal kind of person. He/she may have been heart broken by past relationships. Do you really fit into his/ her world? After being rejected or neglected, instead of being discouraged, why not go back and work on yourself. Develop and upgrade yourself. Come to limelight, he/she will come back looking for you. And when they do it might just have been too late, because you must have gotten true love, who loves you for whom you are.
 A friend of mine once said ‘’ All men are looking forward to marrying a beautiful lady, but not all men has what it takes to maintain them (their beauty)’’. To an extent I do agree with her statement. Before asking another for a relationship, what are you bringing into the relationship? Because nobody in our world today deserve to be in a relationship where him/her will be in the losing side. 

Know that what goes around will someday come around to stay around. Don’t mind how he/she treated you in the past; don’t mind the rejections, embarrassments or even humiliations you encountered.  Everything in our world is guided by the principle of timing, at that perfect time, you’ll get the best. The time for you to be lovers may not be now. There is time for everything under the sun: a time to hate, and a time to love; a time to be separate, and a time to come together. Time will tell. Remember, time heals.

It was Stephen Covey who said: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Understand his/her likes and dislikes, values, principles, goals, dreams, visions, and hobbies. You can do this by asking him/her directly, asking their friends will not also be a bad idea, but with caution and tactics. Once you understand things about him/her, and they are in line with yours, go ahead and let him/her know about yours, and how wonderful it would be if both of you work together. If they are however different from your own, detach yourself and move on!!!, Don’t try to change him/her to suit your ideal kind of man/woman because you can never change another person no matter how hard you try, you can only influence them to an extent, but their true personality remains.

Know that friendship is the root of lasting love and happiness, friendship often ends in love but love in friendship never ends. Friendship is a foundation on which true love is built. Make him/her your friend first, if the person you admire is an easy going type of person, they will never refuse your friendship. 

  Never make your intentions known immediately to him/her until this friendship has waxed strong and you’ve known much about him/her, to decide if you can really cope with their personality and character, only then will nature unfold its gifts to you. Friendship just like war is easy to start, and when that love develops from friendship, it will never end, because true love never ends.

Aloofness or rejection sometimes may mean shyness. Don’t quit! Take the risk once again. Risk makes life sweet. All adventures are risky, so embark on that journey again. It is risky to take risks, but riskier not to take risk, ‘’ everything about life is a risk”, take that risk, if you want your love to work for you, you must work for your love. Maybe the reason why you can’t get him/her out of your head or thoughts is that they are supposed to be there, why not work harder to get them into your life and arms.
      After you’ve worked so hard for their acceptance and love, and a YES is still unrealistic, know that he/she doesn’t deserve you, so move on and live your life. He/she is not perfect, you aren’t either and the two of you may never be perfect together.
When you really love someone, you are willing to let them go, and if they come back, then that’s true love, but if they don’t, they don’t deserve you.  Never make him/her your only option, because you can always find another, who may be your true love. You will come in contact with the person that knows your worth; that will love and cherish you. Know that one heart leads to another, but only a heart can be so strong.
 Action and reaction will always be equal and opposite. Act rightly and expect equal and opposite reaction. You’ve asked, you’ve sought, you may have been rejected and embarrassed, but if it’s truly meant to be, he/she will surely come back to you, and when they do, it will be much more perfect than you ever imagined. Do it again and again, and soon you will see him/her coming to you to say: “I LOVE YOU TOO.”………………..


Why did they call ours a dark continent?  Why did they say ours is the poorest of all other continents? Why must they say ours is a home of the deadliest of disease? We have even joined them to do the same, yes, we are blacks but we must not let our back remain on the ground, we are blacks, but an era of light has come. Africa is not a dark continent but the giant of all continents.

 Africa, I must confess is the richest continent but inhabited by people with poor mindset, ideas, mentality and selfish interests; Nigeria for instance many say is a rich nation with numerous natural resources but inhabited by 90% of poor citizens, and the profits from its resources are split between the government and few individuals. If we are not rich, then why did the west come to Africa with colonization and slavery, stealing our natural and human resources, destroying our sociocultural and economic system? But no matter what has happened, no matter our mistakes, I have just realized that we are the cause of our problems today, we are no more slaves but partakers of freedom, but what pains me most is that most Africans has refused to keep the fire of freedom burning.

We lack, not because we are blacks, but because we are blind and we keep going back, we lack currency because we refuse to use our common sense, we lack resources because we refuse to be resourceful, we lack breakfast because we refuse to break free from laziness, we lack lunch because we refuse to lunch our potentials, we lack dinner because we refuse to think deeper, we lack industries in our nations because we condone so much indolence. We experience so much scarcity because we condone laxity, we experience poverty because we involve in so much promiscuity, we remain unemployed because we refuse to employ our potentials, we have not found our wealth because we have not defined our worth and we’ve not joined other nations to reach the altitude of development, because we’ve not worked on our attitude. 

Other continents of the world are not better than us, they just think better. We have got what they have got; Africa shall become better if our values become better. They are not where they are because of their currency; they are where they are because of their current sense. When they dream, they dream to conquer, when we dream, we dream to consume. When they school, they school to be empowered, when we school we school to be employed. They plant for the next age; we plant for our next meal. Indeed we need a revolution, if our mind is reformed as theirs, we would get the results they get, but if our mind is blind, we would suffer the pains of darkness. It’s time we wake up to our responsibilities; most of our leaders are so vision less, they are so corrupt that they use decades to build for themselves mansions that will last for centuries and use just days to build for their people public amenities that will collapse tomorrow. 

In spite of our natural endowment, we still rely on import that now they are importing meat and toothpick, as a country we’ve gone far, but in development we are crumbling. All of us know our challenges today, a war without end, violence, corruption, a dependence on oil and neglect on other natural resources, thereby threatening our future, schools where too many children aren’t learning, we know these challenges, we’ve heard and we’ve only talked about them for years, but what have we really done? What has stopped us from meeting these challenges is not the absence of sound policies and sensible plans, what has stopped us is the failure of our leadership and the corruption in our political system. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict; know that your people will judge you based on what you built and not what you destroyed. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit, know that you are on the wrong side of history; and your children and children’s children may never live a better life after you’ve gone.

Also of a particular concern is this new form of slavery called American green card lottery and other form of migration programmes that are seriously and gradually drifting a significant amount of our youths and talented able bodied men and women out of the continent of Africa into an unknown future?  As I watch these men and women do menial jobs that the whites will not touch with a long pole, I get provoked and only wish that these men and women will one day realize their dream of a better future not just in foreign lands in Europe and America but also within the black continent of Africa. Let’s all have the African spirit, spirit of persistence, the African spirit of strength, hope, courage and greatness; this is the African spirit, shared by our heroes of freedom. My earnest desire is that our youths and generation of leaders will awaken to the needed change; change by becoming leaders with great sense of commitment to leadership, leaders who sees politics as not just a game but an institution of public interest; we all can work together to track terrorists down with a strong military, who said we can’t stop violence, kidnapping, bribery and corruption that has claimed thousands of lives in our nations. Let’s be a generation that reshapes our economy; let’s set high standards for our schools and give them the resources they need to succeed, let’s recruit a new army of teachers, and give them better pay and more support in exchange for accountability. Let’s invest in scientific research and let’s be a generation that ends poverty in Africa.

To all citizens I advice; although government will play a crucial role in bringing the changes we need, let’s all thrive to be agents of change in our societies; we need  a revolution, not a blood flowing revolution but a mind renewing revolution, each of us in our own lives will have to accept responsibilities; let’s share some measure of sacrifice, let us begin, let us begin this hard work together, let us transform our nations and continent; so that with God’s permission; the leadership and government of our past heroes will be an inspiration to all humanity.